Sensitive, awkward, painful, tragic. This is one of those things nobody really wants to talk about because most people just don't know what the hell to say. Death in general is beyond difficult to deal with. A suicide brings with it an additional raw tragic aspect that adds a whole deeper level of anguish.
We meet people through the course of our lives, some are fleeting encounters and some take place over years. It is possible to leave a lasting impression even when the actual hours spent are few. Sometimes you can reconnect with people that you’ve cared about in the past, and build a whole new set of experiences. Pay attention and remember that knowing someone twenty years ago is not the same thing as knowing them for the last twenty years. Think also about how our own perspective changes slightly as we grow up, as we mature and gain experience.
Think on this: We are all the children of the same Universe. We are all here, on this same playing field, and I believe we are here to experience many of the same lessons. Truly, to be kind and loving to one another is a simple basic thing, so often overlooked and set aside. Our interactions are fleeting, our potential limitless. Some revel in this game of life, some play reluctantly, suffering emotional anguish and torment daily. It cannot be fixed, and blame is a tricky game.
Depression is real, coping techniques are varied and wide. We all employ some form or another, and find a way to get through the day. For some this is beyond grasp. You can take the pills, see the therapist, check the boxes, eat more organic food, meditate, write poetry, scream out loud. Doesn’t matter if the voices keep screaming, or worse, whispering quietly.
We lost my ex-husband in April, the battle won by alcoholism. All we tried, all we loved, couldn’t get him to put down the bottle. We just lost my ex-boyfriend. I found out on Halloween. He was horribly depressed and he took his own life two days before Halloween. Like all of us, he had good days and bad, good moods and worse ones. We split up this summer after two and a half years together. This was someone I knew 30 years ago. I didn’t know his daily life was so full of pain until I moved in with him. After 2 years, I was able to get him to seek some help from the VA. He was getting help, as they say. He was going to therapy, he was taking the meds, he was going to church, he was staying clean and sober. Mostly. In the end, he was not helped by any of it, and simply wanted the pain to stop.
There’s no great moral here, no judgment. It’s just damn tragic. Please my lovelies- just be KIND to each other, to your parents, to your children, to your lovers, to your friends… There is no great mystery about it, it cannot hurt, it may save a life, or it may spread a smile. Just be kind, love where you can. Life is fleeting my dears, oh so fleeting.